A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband’s temper.
The Doctor asks: “What’s the problem?”
The woman says: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me.”
The Doctor says: “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down.”
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The woman says: “Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”
The Doctor says: “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.”
A frustrated housewife bought a new pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to arouse her husband and spice up their dead s*x life.
After cooking his favourite meal for dinner one evening, she had put them on under a revealing short skirt and relaxed with a glass of wine on the sofa directly across from where her husband was sitting in his chair.
After several more glasses of wine and at what she thought was the appropriate moment, she uncrossed her legs just wide enough so that her husband could catch a revealing view.
It wasn’t long before his eyes focused on the prize and he asked,
“Are you wearing crotchless panties?”
“Y -e-s,” She answered coyly with a seductive smile.”
“Thank God!” he said,
” I thought you were sitting on the cat.”
He never saw her glass of wine coming.