In the wake of a family tragedy, the dynamics within a household can shift dramatically, leading to situations fraught with emotion and difficult decisions. A Reddit user recently shared a story encapsulating such a scenario, where the lines between compassion, duty, and personal boundaries blur.
One woman with her hand placed on another woman's shoulder | Source: Pexels
A Reddit user's son, Derrick died. The Original Poster (OP), ended up in a position to offer support to the former daughter-in-law (DIL) and grandson. Derrick's passing left his ex-wife without the financial support she had come to rely on, prompting the grandparent to taken in the mother-and-son duo.
This act of kindness was meant to be a temporary measure, providing shelter and stability until the DIL could regain her financial independence through education and employment.
A woman smiles as she poses in graduation attire | Source: Pexels
"When Derrick passed away she was left with nothing. He didn't even have life insurance. His savings amounted to about $5,000," the Original Poster (OP) recounted, highlighting the precarious financial situation the DIL found herself in. For two years, the OP's home became a place of refuge and rebuilding for DIL and the grandson. The DIL, in turn, contributed to the household and pursued her education, eventually securing a job as a Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN), a significant step towards independence.
A woman in scrub suit smiling | Source: Pexels
Everything appeared to be progressing well until the DIL's personal life took a turn that made OP uncomfortable. "Everything had been going well until she graduated and got a job. She met a guy. That's fine. I fully understand that. She isn't really my son's widow. They were divorced. And she is an adult. She can do whatever she wants. But then she met another guy. And another," OP shared.
A couple looking at each other | Source: Pexels
OP respected how the DIL decided to lead her love life, but was concerned about the implications of her bringing home multiple partners, especially considering the presence of the grandson in the house.
OP's discomfort with the situation led to a candid conversation with the DIL. "I just don't want it in my house. For two years now, I have been discreet about my love life around her and the kid," OP explained.
A woman embracing her grandchild | Source: Pexels
Despite OP's attempts to maintain a respectful and discreet household, the DIL's response was one of defiance, asserting that her personal life was not OP's business.
This exchange prompted OP to ask the DIL to move out by the end of the school year, a decision that was met with accusations of judgment and insensitivity. "I talked to her about it and she says it's not my business. And I agree. I have asked her to move out at the end of this school year," OP stated.
Two women in an intense conversation | Source: Pexels
Despite OP's firm decision, OP expressed: "I wish I could keep my grandson and let her go live her life." OP's decision to ask the DIL to move out was driven by a desire to reclaim her personal space while still hoping for the best for the grandson and his mother.
OP began to wonder if it was wrong for the daughter-in-law to move out of the house. The Reddit community was invited to weigh in on this delicate issue, and most of them supported OP.
A woman bathing her grandson | Source: Pexels
"She's taking advantage of your kindness. Living there was an offer you extended because it was a more stable environment for your grandson. She can do whatever she wants...in her own house. Time for her to go. Hope she stays close so you can keep tabs on your grandson. He's going to need you," penned one person.
Another wrote, "You were incredibly kind and compassionate to let your ex-daughter in law live with you after your son passed away. Especially as they were already divorced before his passing and so there was a level of distance to your relationship with her. I’m assuming she got too comfortable in the end but she should totally remember that you’re doing her a favour and ultimately it’s up to you who comes into your house! Also sorry for your loss."
Was the woman right to ask her daughter-in-law and grandson to leave her home after what she witnessed? Do you think the DIL was wrong to bring different people into her MIL's house and expose them to her son? What would you do if you were in the OP's position?
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